heads down bottoms up
 
This new skin brings about a fresh new beginning, a change, reminding us the importance of looking at things from another perspective so that we may learn to understand and accept all that we see for not what they appear to be, but what they truly are.
Monday
You Are a Double Espresso
Hey Energizer Bunny Girl! Do you ever slow down?You're a mix of high energy and ambition, perfectly matched with strong espressoWhen you want something you get it - by any means possibleYou're driven, determined, and no nonsense. Which is just how you like your java.


You Are 72% Intuitive
You are a very intuitive person. And luckily, your intuition is normally right.You're wise enough to know that relying on intuition alone can be dangerous.When your intuition seems really off, you tend to ignore it - and look at the facts instead.


You Are A Romantic
You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!


You Are a Peach Jelly Bean
You have a distinct style that you don't really have to work for. You're genuinely quirky, and people love your understated charm.


Your Kissing Purity Score: 69% Pure
For you, kissing isn't a casual thing
Lip to lip action makes your heart sing


Your Element is Wood
Your power colors: green and brown
Your energy: generative
Your season: spring
Like a tree, you are always growing and changing.And while your life is dynamic, you are firmly grounded.You have high morals and great confidence in yourself and others.You have a wide set of interests, and you make for intersting company.
posted by sciurine @ 3:56 PM   0 comments
Sunday
Booger
Oh fuck it! Fuck it all. Why the bloody hell are people just so complicated?
I am not going to think. I refuse to oblige. We all think differently. We all strive for different things. Just that some people seem so much more complicated. Maybe they look back at me and think the same. Either way, i don't fucken care. Fuck it all.
posted by sciurine @ 9:22 PM   0 comments
Seven Types of Ordinary Happiness
1. Secret happiness which is steady but beautifully delicate
2. Three minutes of happiness borrowed from a dog
3. Traditional lying down happiness
4. The happiness which comes from staring at a rock
5. Happiness blended with a mysterious sadness
6. The strange happiness associated with seeing a meteorite or shooting star
7. Diffuse, residual happiness resulting from rhythmic domestic tasks such as washing the dishes

I think i can relate well all except number 6; though i sometimes experience it in my dreams. Number 7 sounds rather odd, but some people may in fact experince this unusual form of happiness.
posted by sciurine @ 6:02 PM   2 comments
Friday
i want my two dollars ninety cents back!
This week, i have made two unworthy purchases.
1. Mocha from Spiga.
2. Latte from Blueprint.
I guess the mocha wasn't too bad, despite it being usually strong and powdery, it was reasonably bareable. Today, after suffering from some severe sleep deprivation this week, i knew i wouldn't be able to last my five hour shift at work without some sort of stimulant. Being rather adventurous of me, instead of going the usual mocha from barettos or plush fish, i decided to take a punt at the rather ragged looking cafe diagonally opposite to our beloved physiotherapy building.

The cafe lady was nice and welcoming. I asked for my Latte (another brave move on my behalf). I walked out, intially, very content with my purchase. But as i sipped the dilated, watered down latte, i cringed. I swear, it probably had a dilution factor nearing 70% water to 30% coffee. Water would've tasted much better. If only it was possible to demand a refund on coffee.

Oh well.

I don't know whether it's me or something else. I think my tastebudds have grown exponentially these couple of months, and the more i eat out, the higher my expectations. For instance, i can no longer tolerate packaged nuts, i greatly prefer low-fat milk, and i only drink certain rather expensive tea at home, instead of the usual tea bags. This is not to say that i would refuse to eat or drink anything other than them, but my preference and expectations have risen. My tastebudds have been too pampered lately.

Speaking of food, i have not had such a satisfying dinner in a restaurant for a while. Meshiya. I love you. Despite the unintended addition of a decorative ladybug on my salad, i can truly rank you up within my top 10 beloved restaurants.
posted by sciurine @ 9:40 PM   5 comments
Saturday
Good entertainment for five bucks
Two great movies in one week. I am so happy.

I haven't watched an action packed movie in a very long time. Last night, i relived it all. S.W.A.T kept me crouching over the sofa with my cup of tea, watching intently with awe, excitement and anticipation. Okay, it wasn't the best action movie i've ever watched, and it isn't up there in my top 5, but it was certainly worth my 3 hours of potential blogging and studying time last night.

And for those of you who are comtemplating of spending some quality time away from the books, i suggest you plop yourself down with a tub of ice cream at the movies and watch Little Miss Sunshine. I know i laugh a lot, but this movie got me laughing more than ever. More than the opening scene in Ice Age. I had to wrap myself into my chair as tears drizzled down my cheeks in absolute hysterics. And the good thing is, i didn't need to control the intensity of my laugh 'coz the whole cinema was full of laughter. So good So good.
posted by sciurine @ 7:27 PM   0 comments
motor patterns revisited
Back in Year 9 and 10, out of the 50 odd students who tried out for the badminton team, i was one of the 8 who were selected to represent the college. Not to gloat, but i managed to win the champion's medal both years. I was praised and respected and they needed me, blah blah blah, and no-one actually spent the time to teach and coach me. All i needed to do was aim and hit the cock and dive for it when desperate.

It was yesterday that i realised that "it's a big world afterall..."

I always knew that there's a lot of skill involved in badminton, but not that much! I had to brainwash my badminton motor control center and re-install my new motor patterns taught by the most respectable coach. There were moments where i felt like an absolute baby to the sport, felt so lost and uncoordinated. Usually, i hate that feeling, but it was strangely different yesterday. I enjoyed learning, i was patient and i was quite overwhelmed by the fact that someone like her actually taught me ten times more stuff than spending 2 years on the school badminton team.
I sucked at first, i missed the cock. You see me lift up my racquet, aim intently, opposite fist tightly clenched, ready for the shot, but then you hear the "whoosh." The cock bounces off the ground and lands beside you. One third of you feels embrassed, the other third tells you that you suck, and the final third pushes you to keep trying. For those of you who know me well, i'm not someone who gives up easily with anything. I kept persisting, kept learning and kept trying. And i can proudly say i did it. Not perfectly, but i did it. I get so much satisfaction from achieving small goals like that.

Well, finally, i guess i should thank her.
posted by sciurine @ 6:49 PM   4 comments
Friday
the table has turned
I am giving up blogging for tonight for some serious entertainment. S.W.A.T. Oh yeah baby.
posted by sciurine @ 9:47 PM   0 comments
Tuesday
obilgations
Why is it that sometimes certain people just don't know when to back off? Why do they just keep coming back for more and more and more? Why is it that they can make it out as if they care so damn much, when what they are really doing is proding at a healing wound, ripping off the freshly healed scab, and unleash what's been hidden deep inside? After removing the scab, all that's left is flesh underneath, stinging and hurting with every move, trying to initiate the daunting healing process all over again. Is it because i'm just over-sensitive to it and they actually care but i think and feel otherwise, or it is because they are just so ignorant they don't realise what they're actually doing? Maybe they're just pure insensitive, inconsiderate parasites who thrive and live off someone else's pain and suffering. Either way, they are a pain in the bum to deal with.

Humans seek knowledge, truth and understanding. We all have an inner desire to know things, whether or not it affects us. We are all nosey. If not, then you are ignorant. We watch world news, today tonight, we read the paper, watch tv...everything we do is simply seeking knowledge, most of which doesn't directly affect us in any way or form. It is fine to be nosey, but only to an extent. It can be just playful nosey and then you know when to back off, when to look into the other persons' eye and understand that they don't want to talk no more. At that point, you would stop. That's fine.

On the other end of the nosey spectrum, there are those people who just don't know when to stop. They see you ignore them, avoid them; you balantly change topics when they ask you certain probing questions, and in the end you even resort to telling them bluntly, "Look, i don't want to talk about it, okay?" yet they continue to ask and prod at that fresh healing wound, and each question gently lifts more and more of the scab off. You look the other way and stop responding. Your facial expression lets them know how much you don't want to talk. Suddenly water wells up in the eyes and you tell them once again that you really don't want to talk about it. It is then that they retract, take a step backwards, and ask if you're okay. Well, no, it's not okay. The scab has already been pulled opened by their ignorance and selfishness to seek knowledge.
It is not okay.
Then, you walk away but in need of more knowledge, they ask you to go out to coffee and talk. What the fuck. Excuse my language, but the anger is welling up inside of me and i have to vent it out before i burst.

My star sign today writes:

You can leave it up to someone else if you like.
You are not obliged to rise to the challenge.
You have to stretch yourself only if you feel, deep down inside, that this would be good for you.
It may be good for others too, but you can't make that your primary motive.
It is important to act out of choice, not obligation. Inspiration, not fear.

Now you understand why i enjoy reading my star sign so much. I am not going to feel obliged to tell this certain person everything, no matter how close she is and used to be. She can go have coffee by herself. Perhaps it's because deep down, i am not fit to rise up to such challenge, or perhaps i'm just so over the feeling of obligation to do something i don't enjoy doing. Fuck it.
posted by sciurine @ 10:44 PM   2 comments
Saturday
paraskavedekatriaphobia
The world was plunged into darkness by God Loki, the 13th guest at the Valhalla dinner party. Judas, also the 13th guest at the Last Supper, betrayed Jesus. Jesus was crucified on a Friday. Eve tempted Adam on a Friday. Satan is the 13th Angel. There are 13 goals of a witch and 13 witches in a coven. I see you'r egetting the gist.

The fear of Friday 13th dates back to ancient times but such vacuous tradition is still witnessed until this very day. There are no buses, trains, or trams in Melbourne numbered 13, no gate 13 at Melbourne airport, no level 13 in 80% of high-rising buildings. Apparently, scientific proof and epidemiological studies points to Friday 13th where car accidents rise to 52% and people are more likely to have anxiety attacks.

To all you rather paraskavedekatriaphobias out there, how was your day yesterday? Was it not just another normal day? The sun rose and the sun set as per usual, the trains and trams ran according to their timestables (except for connex), and businesses opened late for good friday shopping.

And for my Friday, contrary to popular assumptions and beliefs, Friday 13th rocked! The clocked strike midnight and we swing danced under the moon for hours, delivered and received long massages which worked miracles, and played poker till the sun came up. I think it's time the society dumps the unintelligent, mindless, illogical superstition. I'm sure if bad luck was to dawn upon oneself, there is no escape.

I must say though, i will never consider having my wedding on Friday 13th. No, i'm not superstitious.
posted by sciurine @ 1:54 PM   2 comments
Monday
Strolling by...
I was deeply shocked when i realised the last time i blogged was 6 days ago! Since starting my blog i've managed to average 6-7 posts on a weekly basis, but after last week, i believe my rather obsessive addiction average is slowly declining. These few days have been so jam packed with random activities that i've hardly had time to blog, let alone sleep (or the other way around ;) ). My list of yet-to-post posts is building up ever so quickly but until i find a good 4 hours worth of free time, i think i should leave it. I understand the frustration of visiting blogs only to find that it hasn't been updated, so for now, just thought i'd drop by and let all my readers know (coz there's so many!) that i'm still alive and that i am thinking of you all.
posted by sciurine @ 6:18 PM   5 comments
Tuesday
the beauty of mother nature
As nerdy as this may sound, i honestly can't recall the last time i took a day off uni/school for the sake of taking a day off. Usually, even if i'm really sick and dying, i'll still manage to eventually drag myself out of bed and go to school. But today was different and i'm not sure what came over me.

Last night i threw up. I was fine after a whole afternoon out eating and drinking (coffee) until i sat at my desk later that night. My tummy started rumbling and grumbling, and making strange noises. I went really cold and had goosebumps in an enclosed, heated room, and i knew i was coming down with something. I refused to take paracetamol for the pain and lethargy and other flu-like symptoms. Just after midnight, the monster inside me forced itself out and i chucked up in the toilet. I swear it was the food at A1 though i have no proof, 'cause by the time it ended up in the toilet bowl, the texture and colour was indistinguishable. The painful sensation of acid burn made its way up my throat as i involuntarily regurgitated the acidic A1 mixture. I then dordled around the kitchen feeling like crap for another hour, making myself a hot water bottle and warm tea. Then as i lay in bed, my stupid mind keeps rattling away and random thoughts flowing through my mind again and again and again and again and again...i didn't get to bed till well after 3am.

I managed to wake up on my 4th alarm (huge improvement!) at 7:30am. Plenty of time to get a shower, breakfast and zoom to the station. But what can i say, my brain takes precedence, and when it tells me to stay in bed and rest, my body obeys. I flipped back around and slept till 11am, just as prac class finished. Oh how good the rebellious feeling.

So with a beautiful day to waste and the lack of motivation to be study-productive, i decided to stroll to the park with my dog and lay there on the lawn. Unfortunately it was freshly cut grass, and the luscious, heavenly smell of spring b(r)ought with it a touch of hayfever. I resorted to lying on a wooden pavement in the middle of the park up on the hill instead, still gazing into the divine blue sky. My skin sizzled up under the radiant sun's rays beaming through what's left of the ozone layer (if any at all), but in the state of catalepsy, i did not care. I refused to move. With my beloved MP3 and my visor over my face, i lay there taking in everything around me, feeling so appreciative and thankful for my existance, no matter how significant, or rather, insignificant i may be. My dog somehow found a comfortable spot next to me and squeezed between my arm and torso, and she too, lay silently with her head tucked neatly between my chest and biceps. The beauty of mother nature.

It half crossed my mind to take the car for a drive down to the beach and scream out all me thoughts and feelings, out into the never-ending wide open horizon, let the waves gobble up what's left inside of me and help me mush my feelings to pieces so that i may feel and think no more. Divine intervention is what i need, and it's exactly what i lack. Perhaps this is a moment when i should act selfishly and pray for intervention and deliverance, pray to Him and ask for the things i want. But how unreasonable and stupid would that be. I will not. I refuse to be such gluttonous creature.
posted by sciurine @ 7:02 PM   0 comments
Sunday
Two bad strikes
Arrghh...Stupid west coast. Damn the Broncos. Stuff the dumbass referees. *sigh of relief* now that that's out of my system, I can get to bed now.

Oh, and FYI, i wasn't antisocial on Saturday night - i just decided to arrive late to the party so that i actually have dinner with my family. Mum and Dad keep telling me how much they miss me coz i'm never home...hehe, it's a good feeling knowing that someone misses you ^.^
And yes, it was a bloody awesome night.

Oh, and while i'm here, Happy Vegetarian Day!
posted by sciurine @ 9:29 PM   4 comments

ABOUT

Thoughts, ...flowing slowly and gracefully, ...awakening the senses, ...keeping you up in the night, I sometimes wonder why people write. To express? To reflect? To be heard? I write, to free myself from a world of thoughts.

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