| Tuesday |
| the beauty of mother nature |
As nerdy as this may sound, i honestly can't recall the last time i took a day off uni/school for the sake of taking a day off. Usually, even if i'm really sick and dying, i'll still manage to eventually drag myself out of bed and go to school. But today was different and i'm not sure what came over me.
Last night i threw up. I was fine after a whole afternoon out eating and drinking (coffee) until i sat at my desk later that night. My tummy started rumbling and grumbling, and making strange noises. I went really cold and had goosebumps in an enclosed, heated room, and i knew i was coming down with something. I refused to take paracetamol for the pain and lethargy and other flu-like symptoms. Just after midnight, the monster inside me forced itself out and i chucked up in the toilet. I swear it was the food at A1 though i have no proof, 'cause by the time it ended up in the toilet bowl, the texture and colour was indistinguishable. The painful sensation of acid burn made its way up my throat as i involuntarily regurgitated the acidic A1 mixture. I then dordled around the kitchen feeling like crap for another hour, making myself a hot water bottle and warm tea. Then as i lay in bed, my stupid mind keeps rattling away and random thoughts flowing through my mind again and again and again and again and again...i didn't get to bed till well after 3am.
I managed to wake up on my 4th alarm (huge improvement!) at 7:30am. Plenty of time to get a shower, breakfast and zoom to the station. But what can i say, my brain takes precedence, and when it tells me to stay in bed and rest, my body obeys. I flipped back around and slept till 11am, just as prac class finished. Oh how good the rebellious feeling.
So with a beautiful day to waste and the lack of motivation to be study-productive, i decided to stroll to the park with my dog and lay there on the lawn. Unfortunately it was freshly cut grass, and the luscious, heavenly smell of spring b(r)ought with it a touch of hayfever. I resorted to lying on a wooden pavement in the middle of the park up on the hill instead, still gazing into the divine blue sky. My skin sizzled up under the radiant sun's rays beaming through what's left of the ozone layer (if any at all), but in the state of catalepsy, i did not care. I refused to move. With my beloved MP3 and my visor over my face, i lay there taking in everything around me, feeling so appreciative and thankful for my existance, no matter how significant, or rather, insignificant i may be. My dog somehow found a comfortable spot next to me and squeezed between my arm and torso, and she too, lay silently with her head tucked neatly between my chest and biceps. The beauty of mother nature.
It half crossed my mind to take the car for a drive down to the beach and scream out all me thoughts and feelings, out into the never-ending wide open horizon, let the waves gobble up what's left inside of me and help me mush my feelings to pieces so that i may feel and think no more. Divine intervention is what i need, and it's exactly what i lack. Perhaps this is a moment when i should act selfishly and pray for intervention and deliverance, pray to Him and ask for the things i want. But how unreasonable and stupid would that be. I will not. I refuse to be such gluttonous creature. |
posted by sciurine @ 7:02 PM   |
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| ABOUT |
Thoughts, ...flowing slowly and gracefully, ...awakening the senses, ...keeping you up in the night, I sometimes wonder why people write. To express? To reflect? To be heard? I write, to free myself from a world of thoughts.
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