heads down bottoms up: post holiday depression

heads down bottoms up

This new skin brings about a fresh new beginning, a change, reminding us the importance of looking at things from another perspective so that we may learn to understand and accept all that we see for not what they appear to be, but what they truly are.

Thursday

post holiday depression

i swear this is a real syndrome and if it hasn't been closely studied or analysed, someone ought to make it their PhD study. i can be your single case subject.

i've just had a terrific three-month long holiday, one taken between finishing university and commencing full time work. with the only exception of my holiday in nepal, those three months that have just past would easily have been the best holidays of my life. no worries, care-free, sleep ins, shopping, camping, very little casual work and spending a heap of time with that special somebody.

but now, that's all over.

i get home from an 8am-5pm shift, knackered and ready for bed. my neck hurts and jaw's stiff. the last thing on my mind is to get up the next day at 6am for another working day. i hate routine.

but i should learn to stop complaining. i have complained and rant to much these few days, i'm sure those ears that were listening are either getting tired or simply blocking out my voice. i don't mean to rant, and i will make an effort to control myself. talking about work bores me let alone you.

but at least let me finish this once,:

there are times this week that i feel like curling up in my bed and just sulking. sulking over the fact that holidays are over and that i can't see an end to this new venture in life referred to as adulthood and becoming a full time worker/slave to the government. sulking over the fact that i have hardly any time let alone energy to watch tv after work. sulking over the fact that i can't just pick up my bag and go shopping on impulse.

for a moment, i feel as if this is it. the responsibilities of adulthood will stick with me forever. which is why i feel like i should break out of this dreadful routine. which is why i want to leave the country, work and travel and see the world while i am young and full of energy.

on my way home, something serious could have happened to me. i have to thank god nothing did, otherwise i could've left behind quite a few unresolved issues.

i'm not upset at anything in particular, that's what's bugging me. work isn't treating me too badly, and yes, it could be exhausting at times, it's all manageable. maybe because i'm just getting used to something new and things have changed from the way they used to be, and i'm simply struggling to adapt. usually i adapt to things really quickly, but this time i guess it's a little different 'cause i feel like i have to take it on all alone - the changes, the decisions, the responsibilities. i'm not talking about work specifically, but life in general.

is it weird to be feeling upset as i venture through my next stage in life?

posted by sciurine @ 9:11 PM

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