| Friday |
| ramblings |
Inundated with complicated thoughts and questions that i can't even figure out myself, these days i have been finding comfort in reading and cooking. When you truly find the time to immerse yourself in the therapeutic act of reading and cooking, you gradually lose yourself into the novel you're reading or the dough you're kneading, and trains of meaningless but delightful thoughts awash the complicated mind.
I work swell on the reward system, and all i want from that reward system is simple happiness. As with most other people in this world, when something makes you happy, you do it more often. Simple. I've been staying out late for the past two nights and been thoroughly enjoying myself. But guilty feelings for not staying home more often made me sacrifice parts of my social life to please my parents. Sacrifice is necessary, i agree, but not always recognised by others. I decided not to go swing dancing and left early from a friend's 21st tonight, 'cause my mum had asked my to come home for dinner. Fair enough. But arriving at my door step with an empty stomach ready to smoosh my face with some nice warm home-made meal, i was utterly disappointed to find the house also virtually empty. My younger brother was in his room surfing the net, my older brother was out clubbing and my parents had gone night shopping. Resting on the stove was some cold curry laska awaiting my presence.
Well, at least there's nice food.
Another hour passed and mum and dad returned home. I thought we could all sit back and enjoy a bit of friday night footy. But for some reason, what i want is not what i get, mum decided to freakin' lecture us kids over the most minutest of problems, yelling and making a racket outside my room as i lay silently in bed with my laptop. *sigh*
These days, it seems that they just want me home for the sake of having me at home, even if they decide to go out. I just don't get it. And then when i'm home, i get yelled at. I dream that i someday will earn enough money to buy out a nearby house to reside in when i don't want to be home.
Anypoop, the real complication i have right this moment are my health and uni matters. My health is at a questionable phase for the next weeks, and my level of nervousness can only rise with each passing day. I feel like a blob for eating so goddamn much and not being able to run as a consequence of my butt fracture.
Uni however, is also another obstacle in my life i certainly do not need right now. Unallocated for my last clinical block due to poor federal government's management of the university education system for physiotherapy students, i am facing the possibility of taking a forced 6-week break whilst my mates are completing their clinicals, then make up for that time during my summer holidays when my friends are heading for an overseas trip. My plan for global elective is on the line and chances are looking grim for there are only 6 weeks to resolve this problem. I cannot help but feel quite unlucky to be one of the very few unallocated from our whole year level simply 'cause i am towards the bottom of the role call due to my last name. True, feeling sorry for myself is no solution to this issue, but i simply consider it a normal human emotional response. I am being optimistic at the moment, the least the i can do to pull myself through, but i wonder if this optimism is in fact a false self-comforting act, that if i follow through for too long, will foolishly bring my hopes up just to plummet back down. The higher you climb, the harder you fall.
But alas, as Brian once put it, "always look on the bright side of life...whistles"
Swing dancing was totally mind-blowing last night despite the bum pain. There are adequate amounts of good tv shows recently. And have just been successful in a job interview and now am employed as a functions caterer. Life is not always bad i guess.
I have cravings. Korean food for dinner and an over dressed beef burger from grill'd. Topped off with a belgian hot chocolate from Cacao at St kilda or spanish hot choc from fitzroy. Then proceed along to the toff in town for some non-raucous music with a light drink for the completeness of the day. Whose up for it? my shout!
If you have a moment to spare, check out this website http://www.chocolatebuddha.com.au/ Just click and enter the site, and you would realise why i like the design so much.
And...torquer, if you haven't noticed, i've managed to exert the extra effort and press that shift key for capitals *wipes sweat off forehead* |
posted by sciurine @ 11:09 PM   |
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| ABOUT |
Thoughts, ...flowing slowly and gracefully, ...awakening the senses, ...keeping you up in the night, I sometimes wonder why people write. To express? To reflect? To be heard? I write, to free myself from a world of thoughts.
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