| Wednesday |
| faith or lack of faith? |
The more i think about faith, the less i have of it. I used to have so much faith in the weather man, but lately that faith is slowly dimnishing. Now i don't think there's much point in watching the weather report, coz either way, i'd prefer to wear too little than too much. Speaking of faith, onto a slightly more serious topic, i think my faith and belief in physiotherapy is sadly deterioating.
Today, i had a long discussion with a friend, and a tutor in that case, about physiotherapy in general. The more i learn or not learn from lectures and pracs, the less i believe that physio and conservative treatment is actually going to help patients. In fact, in some cases, charging patients for our treatment seems to be bordering on being unethical.
I think back to a few years ago and i recall my passion for this profession. I recall the moment when i filled out my preference list at the end of year twelve:
1. Physio Melb
2. Physio La trobe Bundoora
3. Physio La trobe Bendigo
4. Physio Charles Sturt Albury Woodonga
5. Occupational therapy/Behavioural science La trobe
6. Radiograpy Monash Clayton
7. Science/Education Melb
8. Science Melb
It's amazing that i still remember my preferences so vividly, even after 3 years, but then again, my memory sometimes do work a little too well. I live 10 mins from Clayton Monash uni, yet i was perpared to move out to Bendigo simply because i wanted to study physio. I wanted it so badly. The day i found out i got into physio at melb, i could not be happier. And now i pause and think, and i ask myself why?
Why? It's because i wanted a profession that would give me satisfaction; a profession that would be rewarding. I wanted to be on my feet, have the people-people contact, have a sociable work environment, be able to help people and bring happiness into their lives as well as my own. Sounds corny, but it's true. That's what i wanted, that's what i still want, and that's what i'm still hoping for.
But i sit back now after almost 2 years of physio and i feel inadequate. We have been exposed to studies after studies, journals after journals, most of which contains the same bottom line summed up with one word: unknown. We are practicing a therapy that most of the times, may not in fact work. Are we supposed to have complete faith in electrotherapy and use them on our patients, even without clinical and laboratory evidence? Are we supposed to mobilise joints simply to make us look good when we know that the actual miracles that patients claim after treament comes entirely through the application of a 20min ice pack? Are we even supposed to charge for such service? Such unethical service.
I do sound a little bleak don't i? Okay, i do acknowledge the fact that some of the things we practice are fully supported with evidence. We are a young profession and there is still a long way and long time to develop and expand on the little knowledge we have at the moment. I am willing to wait. I can't deny the fact that physio is an important profession and it certainly does help a lot of patients out there, but right now, it's just the frustrating sense of inadequacy and disappointment that is getting to me. I know this phase will fade; i just need to wait.
Though being exposed to the clinical setting at work certainly doesn't help . At uni, they tell us that good physios focus on getting patients' life back on track, educate them and assist them in developing a sense of self management, but at work, I witness long term patients who come back week after week for years on end, due to the physiotherapists' recommendation. But turning around after farewelling those patients, the physios talk amongst themselves and say that they are persisting with treatment simply because the patients feel as if it is working. They are not helping in the long term, but they are persisting. Why? Why else?
When we get out there in the real world, we will understand that we all need to make a living; to sustain ourseleves and those we feed. Money. Why is this word so important in today's society? Does it justify our actions? Does wealth equal happiness? Most certainly not. In fact, sometimes i think that those with less actually lead happier lives. Though i also think that such thoughts are those of an idealist. Idealist like myself. I know the world doesn't work that way. We need money to live, to play, to feed. I've been out there and i know how poor people struggle. I've been to charities like St. Vinnies and Sacred Heart Missions in St. Kilda. I've fed the poor, the homeless, those who are in crisis. I've cooked and scooped food onto their plates and in return, i am rewarded with a smile. To know how grateful they are to simply have a full tummy and a blanket to sleep with, a shelter they can run to when it rains. That is what i call self satisfication; a truly rewarding experience.
I wonder if i will get that feeling next year when i'm in clinics. Whether i will piloerect when my service is rewarded with a grateful smile. To see patients walk for the first time, to feel and thrive in their happiness and achievement. I fear disappointment, but i will have faith. |
posted by sciurine @ 8:39 PM   |
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| ABOUT |
Thoughts, ...flowing slowly and gracefully, ...awakening the senses, ...keeping you up in the night, I sometimes wonder why people write. To express? To reflect? To be heard? I write, to free myself from a world of thoughts.
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