| Friday |
| intense fear |
I always understood and knew what it is like to feel frightened, scared, shocked and disgusted, but never really been through the feeling of intense fear, until recently. After that horrid day where i was convinced to watch the ring by elise back in year 12, i have refused to pick up another horror movie. I went through three nights of nightmares, waking up with cold sweats, afraid to open up my closet, and too scared to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night, even in desperate moments. But leaving that behind me, i picked up the courage to watch wolf creek with my boyfriend when the clock stroke 12am a couple of nights ago.
Based on a true story of a backpackers murder, wolf creek is essentially about a sadistic serial killer who resides in outback australia, who spends his days luring stranded hitchhikers to their death. Although it gave me a fright here and there, and had me under a bit of tension, i didn't think it was much of a horror movie. Essentially, the only horror i got out of the 2 hours was in the first few lines at the beginning of the movie, where it mentioned that it was based on actual events. Nevertheless, i must say, it was a truely gruesome movie, and it certainly got me, and keegs, flinching and wincing throughout the two hours.
These few days after watching wolf creek, i've innocently put myself into quite a vulnerable situation, where i almost ended up in tears due to fear. I've had cold sweats because of intense fear, but fear has never ever involved my tear ducts. The first situation occurred after work a couple of nights ago. I parked my car that afternoon a fair way from the station coz i couldn't find any other parking spots. I didn't think it would be a problem, having so much confidence in my general orienteering skills *cough cough*. When i got back after work at 8pm that night, it was pitch black around that area. Clever me, i thought i could take a short cut back to my car, which involved me walking down unfamiliar streets with no street lights. At first, i didn't think it would be too long a walk. So i walked further and further into this pitch black street, and before i know it, i've lost my direction. Looking behind me, i knew it was too late to turn back. Clenching my fists tightly and looking back every few steps making sure no one was following, i hurried down the street. At that instance, the image of the sadistic killer came to mind. I swear i could've cried. It was the longest 10 mins of my life.
Well, you know when people say once may be an accident, but twice is stupidity, sadly, i think i can pass for being stupid. Just 4 hours ago, i parked my car at the back of the movie shop to return wolf creek. Clayton, an area where i've basically grew up all me life, i would've thought i knew that place by now. But once again, i've been proven wrong. I took the wrong turn and landed myself into a land of the unknown, surrounded by a fence and dumpsters. The smell did not concern me at all. Fear made me clenched my fists so hard that my nails where digging into my palm, and with the other hand, i was holding onto the dvd. My sympathetic system kicked in and my eyes went watery.
Both times, i eventually made it safely into my car. But i didn't feel safe in my car. Recalling a scene from the movie, the killer hid in the backseat of his victim's car and stabbed her to death.
I knew horror movies weren't designed for me, but perhaps if i watched another thriller, i might forget my fear of this one...
Note to self: park in places where i know where i am, how to get back to the car, and make sure there are street lights around the area.
Never thought i'd ever end up staying up late blogging. I think i've somehow scared myself a little with this blog. crap. |
posted by sciurine @ 1:17 AM   |
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| ABOUT |
Thoughts, ...flowing slowly and gracefully, ...awakening the senses, ...keeping you up in the night, I sometimes wonder why people write. To express? To reflect? To be heard? I write, to free myself from a world of thoughts.
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