heads down bottoms up
 
This new skin brings about a fresh new beginning, a change, reminding us the importance of looking at things from another perspective so that we may learn to understand and accept all that we see for not what they appear to be, but what they truly are.
Saturday
terrible end to a good day
i had planned to visit my old workplace just before to do an assessment for my project that is due on monday, which i am yet to make a start on. my car wouldn't start up. bad things happen, so what. with no assistance that can be offered by my family members who all seem to have disappeared enjoying their saturday night life, i called upon the help of whom i thought was a stranger. i approached the car and to my relief, i knew one of the girls in the car. she was my manager once upon a time and my good friend's sister. we did have a great relationship back at work and had always looked out for one another. for a moment, i completely assumed that they could spare 2 minutes to quickly jump start my car for me.

running back to my old magna, resting in the mist of the dark reluctant to fire up, i quickly set up the jumper leads - yes, i now know how to - and approached my "friend" for assistance. To my complete disappointment, she put on an innocent i-really-want-to-but-i-can't facial expression, and coldly refused, reason being that they were in a hurry to get to a party. i backed away from their car and they did a 3-point-turn and cruised the other way.

i have no right to be angry, but i am. perhaps a better word to describe my feelings is utter disappointment. disappointment that someone can't spare a moment to help out. disappointment that that somebody was once a good friend. no longer.
posted by sciurine @ 8:39 PM   2 comments
Monday
maybe i'm reading into it too much...
a new email rests in my university email inbox today. a topic titled swedish massage lured me into unleashing the content within. here's what it roughly said:

SWEDISH MASSAGE
Presented by Dr *****
Monday 1-2pm

This hands-on session will focus on demonstrating massage applied in two
ways:
1. Non-therapeutic massage for the development of therapist-patient rapport.
2. Therapeutic massage applied for effects which cannot be achieved as
well by any other treatment procedure.

Throughout the class, attention will be given to related practices: limb
handling, use of powder vs oil, conversation during massage, etc.
To get the most out of the class please bring shorts or appropriate
underwear.

if you still don't quite understand why this email content is worth troubling me into publishing it on my blog, read again.

i always knew us physios can do more than just massage.
posted by sciurine @ 10:02 PM   6 comments
Sunday
reporting from the line
it's worth having a positive outlook on life. a few weeks ago, i could never have said this, but now, i actually feel a tinge of excitement as i await for my 6 week undeserved break i am due to have soon.

i am one of the four unlucky souls within my physiotherapy course who have been forcibly striped of our right to be treated as equally and fairly as the other hundred students in the same course. given the current severity of undergraduate funding for physio students, hospitals are reluctant to accept students and provide for essential training and experience. consequently, as a young, vibrant, and motivated potential physiotherapist who unfortunately bares the surname beginning with "t", i have no other option but to take a 6 week break from uni when no one else is on holidays, and then stay back after the year is completed to do my clinical placement.

i blame the government. i blame the university. i can continuing focusing on the negatives, for this issue really stirs me up even to this very day, but i won't.

i have spent hours surfing through websites with an attempt to build a semi-thought-about plan for the 6 weeks i have off. so far, i have come up with a handful of options, all involving money. i will take up some sort of pilates course, a few weeks worth of gym membership, building up on my current lack of knowledge by hanging out at blockbusters and borders, return to my beloved piano, volunteer my wealth of time to red cross, and possibly fit in some sort of revision. lots to do, but so far two people have doubted my potential in achieving my goals. they should know better. i am stubborn and i have attitude. their doubt fuels my ego, assisting me in my drive to succeed.

maybe i will also spend some of that time sorting out my love life, or there lackof. i don't doubt the laws of gravitational attraction between two planets, mars and venus, but for now, martians drive me nuts. to be just, i probably drive them nuts too. comfort and security can co-exist with fun and excitement, but it seems like i can only choose one or the other.

i love to think that the decision is not on me, but what a fool i'd be, to leave the issue unresolved - again.
posted by sciurine @ 10:43 PM   0 comments
the world is full of misplaced worries
if i add another ounce of my own worries onto the exhaustive list of misplaced worries in the existing world, it will tip over on its axes. and for that sole reason, i don't worry too much. at least i try not to. that in itself is worrisome.

a person with a constant display of a care-free attitude to life can be reflected as a care-less person in another's eye. i think i, unfortunately or unfortunately, tend to subconciously make people to see me in that light. but i do worry and i do fear. fuck i do. but what would worrying achieve?

it is when you realise the answer to that question that you will see that there is no real point in worrying. thus, i think instead. my mind ticks away quietly for solutions.
posted by sciurine @ 1:43 AM   0 comments

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Thoughts, ...flowing slowly and gracefully, ...awakening the senses, ...keeping you up in the night, I sometimes wonder why people write. To express? To reflect? To be heard? I write, to free myself from a world of thoughts.

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